


Hang in There, Himari!

by perorat



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Tomoe understands that she's a safe first gay crush, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 07:19:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17096264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perorat/pseuds/perorat
Summary: It was a well-known secret that Himari had been harboring a crush on Tomoe.  The long, dreamy gazes she would give while Tomoe was talking; the constant excuses to sit next to her, just for the chance to be physically close; the deep red that her face would flush when Tomoe laughed - it wasn’t very subtle.  Everyone knew that Himari had a crush on Tomoe - except, that is, for Himari herself.





	Hang in There, Himari!

“--I want to hear - thank you!” cries Ran, her voice belting with such passion that the walls of the studio space threaten to crumble. She flutters open her eyes to catch a glimpse of her bandmates, playing with passion to equal her own. Moca, stood next to her in a casual leaning pose, met her gaze and gave a small nod. Behind her was Tsugumi, hitting the keys of her piano with a look of absolute concentration on her face. Pounding out the rhythm with intense fervor was Tomoe, smashing the cymbals in preparation for the final notes of the song. And next to her was Himari, whose bass line signaled to the rest of the band that the final bar was coming. With a flourish, Tomoe’s glitter of notes on the high hat cymbal ended the performance.

  
“Great job, everyone!” Calls Himari, pulling her bass guitar’s strap off her shoulder with a tug. “I think that was the best practice we’ve had in a long time!”

  
“Mm!” hums Tsugumi in a agreement, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. “Amazing job on the bassline of True Color, Himari!”

“Aw, thank you!” Replies Himari after a sip from her water bottle.

“You headed straight home? Isn’t that drama you follow airing an episode tonight?” Says Tsugumi inquisitively as she begins to pack away her things.

“Actually, me and Tomoe are going to get okonomiyaki! There’s a place in town I’ve been wanting to go to!” Himari chirps.

Moca raises her eyebrows at Ran, who looks back blankly.

“Hey,” starts Himari with a pout, “if you’re going to make fun of me for the calories in okonomiyaki-”

“No, I just wanted to wish you luck on your date~” drawled Moca, putting a finger to her chin knowingly.

Himari froze in her spot. Suddenly, everyone was paying attention, Tsugumi pausing from putting away her keyboard and Ran staring with her arms crossed.

“I-it’s not a date…!” Himari said finally, putting a hand to her chest as if wounded.

“No?” replied Moca, “Then, you wouldn’t mind if I tagged along?”

Himari glanced at Tomoe, who was trying to busy herself with tidying.

“Well, er…” hesitated Himari.

“See? It’s a date!” said Moca, with a wave of her hand. “I would know a date when I saw one, me and Ran go on dates all the time, right?”

“Moca,” Ran said softly. “maybe you should drop this.”

“It’s not a date, Moca!” said Tomoe, with a lighthearted yet firm tone.

Moca put up her hands defensively, as if surrendering to the court.

“Okay, jeeze,” she sighed. “I just assumed Himari had confessed already!”

It was a well-known secret that Himari had been harboring a crush on Tomoe. The long, dreamy gazes she would give while Tomoe was talking; the constant excuses to sit next to her, just for the chance to be physically close; the deep red that her face would flush when Tomoe laughed - it wasn’t very subtle. Even their friends outside of Afterglow knew, speaking of it in soft whispers as an unstated truth. Everyone knew that Himari had a crush on Tomoe - except, that is, for Himari herself.

When the topic of Tomoe came up, Himari had one of two reactions: she would stutter and deny any feelings of romantic attraction, or she would laugh nervously until the subject was dropped. These two reactions often had overlap. It really wasn’t subtle, but most had come to the conclusion that she would figure it out herself sooner or later. Moca, however, seemed to think the best plan of action was to poke the bear as much as possible.

A nervous chuckle erupted from Himari.

“Moca,” she said, her tone cheerful in a forced way, “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Confessing? Like, confessing feelings? What, to Tomoe? That would be ridiculous, I’m straight! And Tomoe is a girl!”

“Just kidding you~” Moca says nonchalantly, turning to her girlfriend. “Ran, are you packed up? We have a movie to watch!”

“We’re going to go see the new PreCure movie...it was Moca’s turn to pick, and it just came out yesterday…” Ran clarifies.

Moca nods. “A cute movie with my cute girlfriend!”

“Stop, I’ll blush…” replies Ran, her face already flush.

“Ah, and I have to close up at the cafe…” says Tsugumi, checking her phone for the time. “...oh no, I might be late!”

Tsugumi stuffs her keyboard fully into the bag, whipping it around her shoulder as she zips it closed.

“Good practice everyone, see you all later!” She calls as she exits the studio.

“C’mon Ran, it’ll be starting soon!” Moca says as she intertwines her hand around Ran’s. “I hope there’ll be less kids since we’re going to a late showing…”

“It’s a kids movie, Moca.” Ran intones as the pair follow Tsugu’s path.

As the door closes behind them, Himari becomes suddenly hyper-aware that she and Tomoe are alone together.

“Well, I think I’m all set!” Tomoe says, breaking the half-moment of silence. She slides a final drum case into the storage closet, which closes behind it with a click. “You ready, Himari?”

“Yes!” Himari says back, hoping she didn’t sound too eager.

As they exit out of the studio and into the lobby, a soft pitter-patter grows. Tomoe looks outside the glass windows to see that it has begun to rain slightly.

“Ah, it’s raining…” she says with a huff.

“Don’t worry!” Replies Himari, pulling a small travel umbrella out of her bag. “I think we can both fit under here!”

And so, they left, huddled under Himari’s bright pink umbrella. Tomoe, too tall for the umbrella to do much of anything as held by Himari, pulled up her hood to shield her face. They walked like this for a while, discussing the band and other such things, when a lull hits the conversation.

“Himari?” Tomoe says suddenly, eyes affixed to the ground.

“Mm?” Replies Himari absently.

“About earlier...would you...be embarrassed to date me?”

“No!” Himari says suddenly, even surprising herself. “I mean, if you were a guy, you would be the perfect boyfriend!”

Tomoe remains silent, her pace on the sidewalk as steady as the raindrops.

“I mean, you’re strong and cool! And you’re so kind, and protective, but not in a smothering way…and I’d never worry about what you’re thinking, because you speak your mind...”

A beat of silence between them rings louder than her words ever could.

“...but, that’s what makes you such a good friend!” Himari recovers.

Beneath her hood, Tomoe rolls her eyes.

“Anyway, what kind of a question is that?” Himari laughs nervously, looking around for an excuse to change the topic. “Ah, look, there’s the restaurant!”

Quickening her pace to the front door, Himari leaves Tomoe in the rain.

With the press of a button, the sliding doors open to the cozy establishment before them. The hazy scent of cooking fills the smoky room, brewing from the short tables dotting the floor. Groups of people sit on the floor, pouring and flipping their pancakes of various ingredients on the flat grill inset in their tables. The lighting, low and warm, illuminates the dark exposed wood and light woven mats that line the raised ground.

“Oh, it smells amazing..!” Himari says as she shakes off her umbrella outside and slots it into the ceramic holder next to the door. She sits on the small set of stairs leading up to the main floor, beginning to unlace her shoes to place next to the rest.

“Wow, it totally does…” replies Tomoe, nudging her own shoes off with a pry of her heel.

“Welcome!” comes a voice from in front of them. Himari glances up to see a smiling hostess holding a set of menus in her arms. “Right this way, please!”

They follow up the wooden steps onto the tatami mat floor, into a small sectioned-off area with a hotplate table in the middle. Himari sits on one of the cushions, knees tucked beneath her skirt, Tomoe squatting down across from her.

“Do you think they’ll have yakisoba versions?” Wonders aloud Himari as she opens her menu.

“I’m not sure,” replies Tomoe lazily, “this place seems a little old-fashioned, so maybe not…”

As she flips through her own menu, Tomoe’s mind can’t help but to drift to Himari’s answer.

“It came so quickly”, she thinks as her gaze flits over a long description of the shrimp pancake, “like it was her natural answer…”

“I think I know what I want!” Himari interrupts her thoughts.

“Oh? Can I guess, then?” Smiles Tomoe. “You want the cheese and corn pancake, and you’re going to pick out the mushrooms.”

“Hey!” cries Himari, having been read like a book.

Tomoe chuckles, her laugh like a ringing bell. “It’s not bad to be predictable, Himari. You like what you like!”

Himari sighs and rests her hand on her cheek.

“Well, for the record, you’re right. And what are you getting, the pork and vegetables one?”

“Er, I’m not sure yet…” Tomoe picks back up her menu. “...but that does sound good…”

Himari smiles to herself. As much as Tomoe could tease her about being predictable, it could just as easily be said for her, too.

“Yeah, I think I will get that!” Tomoe piles her menu atop Himari’s, and reaches for the button to place their order.

The waiter came quickly, taking down what they would like in a small pad of paper, then quickly bustling away. Soon after, the bowls of dough and toppings came.

“Wait-” starts Himari, pulling out her phone. “-selfie!”

Tomoe rolls her eyes, but smiles fondly, and throws up a peace sign pressed against her cheek. Himari holds the phone out, and flashes a huge grin as she snaps a photo.

“You cook yours first, I’m gonna post this!” she says.

“Alright,” replies Tomoe, pouring her ingredients together and mixing them.

For a moment, Himari fusses with filters and stickers as the space is filled only the soft crackle of the cooking pancake, and the muffled ambience of the surrounding conversations.

“Oh!” Himari says suddenly, turning her phone around for Tomoe to see. “Look, Kaoru posted a new photo!”

Tomoe looked up to see her screen bearing an extremely high quality image of the purple-haired girl sitting on a throne, her legs casually propped on one of the arm rests. She was wearing a gold-tipped white tuxedo (the tails of which lay draped nearly to the ground from her seating position), and a slightly askew gold crown. Clenched between her teeth laid a white rose, and her gloved hand pointed lazily at the viewer. With a swipe from Himari’s other hand, the image changed to a functionally identical photo, the only real difference being that Kaoru was winking. Tomoe’s eyebrows raised.

“Isn’t she so princely…!” Cooed Himari, pulling back her arm to again admire the images.

“She really is handsome,” agreed Tomoe, flipping her pancake to cook the other side. “do you have a crush on her?”

Himari laughed, perhaps too quickly.

“Well, I mean, everyone has a crush on Kaoru! It’s normal for girls our age!” She says.

Tomoe bites her lip. “Should I push it…?” Deciding it would be dishonest not to, she sighs.

“Well, I think she’s handsome in a gay way. In a, ‘I am a girl who finds this girl attractive’ way. Is that normal, do you think?”

Himari’s smile doesn’t falter. “Yeah, but, that’s you! I think she’s handsome in...a...boyish way!”

This, Tomoe decides, is where she should drop it. She shimmies her spatula underneath the pancake, and transfers it to her plate.

“Thank you for the food! Ah, Himari, do you mind if I go ahead and eat? I don’t want it to cool off-”

“Don’t worry, go for it!” Himari says cheerily. “I eat quickly anyway!”

She pours her own batter onto the grill, peppering in the toppings with a careful eye to avoid the mushrooms. With a hearty chomp, Tomoe digs into her own pancake.

Not only is the food great, but so is the company, for the rest of their meal. Though the thought of Himari’s denial gets pushed to the back burner of Tomoe’s mind, there’s still a part of her that’s bothered by it. When the check comes, Himari insists upon paying for it, as she was the one to invite Tomoe in the first place. They thank the waiter, who bids them an equally-respectful thanks in return.

As they step downwards into the genkan to retrieve their shoes, Tomoe notices the familiar pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the tin-roof entryway. She sighs.

“It’s still raining! And I think it’s gotten even worse!” Tomoe says, as she slips a foot back into its shoe.

“Good thing I have my umbrella…!” Says Himari, sliding the pink handle out from the container it was in.

“Ah, but, we’re going in different directions…” Tomoe looks outside the sliding glass doors, mentally mapping the route to her house.

“I could walk you…!” Himari offers, suddenly gazing up at Tomoe from her seated position on the steps.

Their eyes meet only for a moment, Himari’s emerald green eyes wide and sharp as ever. Tomoe is standing over her, the light above them making a halo of scarlet flyaways around her wild dark red hair. Himari can feel her pale cheeks flushing with color, and she looks away quickly, heart hammering against her ribs.

“Don’t worry about that,” replies Tomoe cooly, “I have a hood I can wear! Besides, I don’t live far. Thanks, though!”

Himari nods, biting the side of her cheek. Most people’s least flattering angle was from below like this, and yet...Tomoe carried herself with such a sense of power, so much command…

She resisted the urge to physically shake the thought from her brain. She stands up abruptly, and presses the button to open the door. The sound of rain and wind suddenly becoming louder.

“T-this was really fun! We should come back here!” Himari says with a broad step outside under the tin awning.

“I agree, that pork...you were definitely right, that’s gotta become my usual order!” Tomoe smiles fondly.

Himari doesn’t dare keep her gaze. That lopsided grin was too much for her to take.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Himari says, starting off down the street with a wave.

“Tomorrow!” Repeats Tomoe. “And text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, okay?”

But Himari was already gone.

**Author's Note:**

> howdy! it's been a very long time since I've written a fic, but now that I've graduated college I'd like to begin writing again! I have all the chapters planned & in various stages of finish, so please enjoy, and the next chapter will be soon!


End file.
